Flying Isn't Dangerous
by 2318008
Summary: Kyle and Cartman sit next to each other on a flight back from one of their adventures. Stuff happens. Rated for a hand job and language.


This is my first fic on so I hope you enjoy, also please assume they are older in this.

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><p>Kyle woke up with a dry throat from the plane's air conditioning. His neck ached. The position he had fallen asleep in had been very uncomfortable and he stretched his head from side to side to relieve the muscles. From his seat in the middle section of the Boeing 777 Kyle could see that outside the windows night had finally fallen.<p>

He yawned and glanced over at Cartman who on his left who was watching the in-flight TV on a flickering screen. He'd bitched a little about the video quality at the start of the flight but Kyle had flat out refused to swap with him. It was too funny to see the fat boy having to squeeze into the middle seat. He gloated over his aisle seat where he could kick his legs out and chat across to Stan.

Stan also seemed to be dozing, but Kyle noticed he had his headphones on. More likely he was trying to avoid part two of an avid lecture on the history of rock and roll that his father, sitting next to him was all too keen to continue. Kyle decided to let him sleep, or just pretend to.

A good move as it turned out, because as he shifted under his airline blanket he realized that his pants were feeling distinctly uncomfortable. His pleasant dreams drifted back, maybe something about Nicki Minaj's Anaconda video? He bunched the blanket down surreptitiously to hide the tent in his pants. Kyle would have just waited for his untimely erection to go away or even escaped to the toilet but unfortunately his movement drew the attention of the boy sitting next to him. Cartman looked away from his episode of American Ninja Warrior and focused on Kyle with a triumphant glint in his eye.

"What were you dreaming about Kyle? Must have been something good."

His voice was sinister and Kyle's heart sank. Cartman fucking knew, and he was never going to hear the end of it. Kyle attempted to redirect the conversation away from his boner.

"Fuck off Fatass. Why aren't you asleep anyway? You've been up for fifty hours straight by now."

"Yeah well, I got knocked unconscious for like three hours when the FBI kidnapped me from that base in West Hollywood."

Kyle had forgotten about that. To be honest his whole experience of the last two days was kind of a blur at this point. Hopefully his brain would sort it out later, when he was home and didn't have a huge fucking erection.

"So what was it Kyle? Nothing to say? That's strange. You couldn't keep quiet while you were asleep. Or did you lose your voice making all those little squeaking noises?

Kyle shifted a little in his seat and the blood that wasn't stubbornly refusing to leave his dick rushed to his face.

"I do not make squeaking noises. Shut the fuck up and watch your show Fatass."

But Cartman kept watching him. He had a strange expression that Kyle couldn't immediately read. Kyle had no great hopes of Cartman being distracted anytime soon. Kenny, who was in the seat on the left of Cartman, had been suspiciously still ever since he'd choked on that pretzel half an hour ago.

Kyle braced himself for whatever stupid thing would come out of Cartman's mouth next. Never one to be predictable Cartman grabbed the inflight magazine out of the pocket in front of him, rolled it up and started poking at Kyle's crotch.

"Dude fuck off!" yelped Kyle, twisting his hips away as much as he was able and swatting at Cartman's hand. He grabbed hold of the magazine and tried to pry it from Cartman's fingers but he had a solid grip on it. Kyle wriggled around a little settled for pinning the fat boy's chubby forearm against the armrest between them and sticking a pointy elbow into his chest to stop the other arm coming round.

Cartman's wrist was still free however and he used the limited movement it had to stroke the magazine right over Kyle's crotch in a slow, creeping manner that prickled his spine and knocked some of the fight out of him.

"Seriously dude fucking stop it!" He bit out around the shivers that Cartman's motions with a fucking magazine of all things, were giving him. He became more conscious of his position sprawled over Cartman, touching Cartman far more than he wanted to right now.

"Wow I can't believe this is all it takes Jew, you must be hyper mega gay."

Kyle sacrificed his grip on Cartman's arm to turn his back on him completely, cutting off access to his dick which was now even harder. He put the blanket, which had fallen off during their struggle back over himself to hide the problem. Cartman poked him in the ass a few times but getting no response apart from another muffled 'fuck off!' he seemed lose interest.

Kyle was just starting to hope that ignoring Cartman had actually worked this time, which it never did, when he felt a hand snaking around his blanket covered hip. Kyle sighed in annoyance and decided to change tack. He flipped his body back around and faced Cartman again.

"Why are you doing this?" Kyle asked flatly.

"_Because_ when we get back home you're going to have to do everything I say! Otherwise I'll tell the whole town how gay you are."

His hand rubbed over the bulge in Kyle's pants as he spoke. Kyle twisted back into the seat, trying not to move into the touch. He recognised the look in Cartman's eyes then, it was hunger.

"Dude you're the one who's the gay! _You're_ the one who's touching _me_. That makes _you_ gay!" Kyle's voice caught as Cartman's fingers moved over his clothed dick again and he couldn't hold back a small gasp.

Kyle cursed inwardly. Like a shark smelling blood in the water Cartman picked up on his slip and his movements became more certain in response to the stutter. When Kyle looked in his eyes they had that special gleam of manic determination that meant he wasn't going to let this go. The air between them was charged with the strength of his resolve.

Kyle suddenly felt way too hot under the blanket. His jacket, while open, couldn't be removed easily while his seatbelt was fastened and the seatbelt couldn't be undone without pulling down the blanket which was _not_ going to happen. He squirmed feverishly as Cartman finally undid the button on his pants and pulled the zip down, wrapping his fingers around Kyle's dick.

They had stopped bickering entirely now, Cartman glowing in silent victory and Kyle, breathless from the attention, didn't trust himself to speak without it sounding completely obscene. Neither of them wanted to draw the attention of their fellow passengers at this point.

Cartman whispered under his breath as he stroked Kyle off,

"There you go. You like that?"

Kyle didn't trust himself to respond but his dick did it for him, swelling under Cartman's sweaty fingers. His hand were balled into fists out of embarrassment his brow was furrowed as he concentrated on keeping silent.

"Do you want me to stop?" Cartman's hand went still but its weight was still warm in Kyle's lap.

Fucking power tripping fuck. Kyle turned a glare on the smug motherfucker next to him.

"I…. you piece of shit…."

"Just tell me to keep going and I will." Cartman smirked

"Fine" Kyle muttered "If you're going to do it then just get on with it."

"hmm.. say please"

"just get on with it _please_!" Kyle said through gritted teeth.

Cartman's hand moved again casually, getting a rhythm up while Kyle went to pieces beside him. Writhing back into his chair and up into Cartman's hand he alternated between closing his eyes and trying to check if anyone was looking at them, his aisle seat making him feel quite exposed.

A whimper escaped Kyle's mouth and he shut his lips as tight as possible as he came closer to finishing.

"Nearly there Kyle?" Was it his imagination or had Cartman's breathing gotten heavier? His face looked a little flushed. Cartman's eyes flickered to his and when Kyle didn't drop his gaze he kept looking. His eyes looked steadily into Kyle's, his focus narrowed until it felt like both of them floated separately from the world around them, in a bubble that contained just the two of them.

Cartman slowly moved his face closer to Kyle's and his breath fluttered against the other boys chin. Kyle tried not to move, not wanting to move away, but hesitant to be the one to make the decisive shift that would press their lips together.

A rattle sounded from the aisle and the two boys shot apart, Kyle clumsily bunched the blanket over his lap and hoped his burning face wasn't too red.

"Are you alright? Would you like some water?" The flight attendant said with concern.

"I… …yeah please,"

She handed the plastic cup over to him and smiled in a motherly way.

"Don't worry, just one more hour and we'll touch down in Denver." Kyle realized that she had mistaken his shallow breathing and red face for a fear of flying.

Rather than correct her he mumbled a feeble thanks and sipped his water while Cartman got a cola. When the flight attendant left they both kept silent. Kyle waited with some trepidation for whatever was coming next.

Which was apparently a whole lot of nothing.

"Erm are you going to…?"

Cartman had turned away from him again, considering his cola can with innocent interest. "What is it Kyle?"

For a second all his arousal was overwhelmed with rage but it was only for a moment. Kyle slowly breathed out a deep breath and it dispersed.

"What do you want Fatass?" he kept his tone level, the flight attendant's interruption had let him catch his breath and regain some sense and he was done playing games today.

"Tell me what you were dreaming about." Ah he never _had_ answered that one. Of course it was just Cartman's excuse for some shitty power thing. Wasn't it always? Kyle had let it go earlier with that 'say please' shit but he'd never really had a lot of patience.

He sighed in defeat making a big show of being about to give in and then promptly put his own hand under the blanket and got on with it alone. Cartman could just go fuck himself.

"Hey!" said Cartman "That's not fair you fucking Jew"

"Too bad." Kyle continued to stroke himself, he cheeks still red as he kept looking defiantly at Cartman.

He inwardly celebrated at the frustrated look on Cartman's face. As he was close to finishing himself off Kyle closed his eyes for a second and to his amazement he felt Cartman begin to stroke his leg under the armrest.

Kyle jumped a little at the contact. He'd expected Cartman's pride to keep him away, the fact that it hadn't and that he was willing to continue this even if it was on Kyle's terms was a pleasant surprise. They moved closer together, Cartman wanting to touch and Kyle wanting it too. Kyle moved his body round as much as he can so it was all within reach under the blanket and Cartman's hand crept closer and closer to his dick.

"You really piss me off." Cartman said in a hushed whisper. Before he could react Cartman's lips were already on his, moving tentatively. The kiss was surprisingly innocent. Cartman drew back flustered and flushed in the face before Kyle could decide if he'd wanted it or not.

Kyle could feel the other boy's breath on his neck. Their closeness and the heat meant that by the time Cartman touched his dick again he was almost ready to come. Kyle threw back his head a little noise catching in his throat and he came in Cartman's hand.

Just as Cartman was wiping his hand off with the complementary face towel and things were beginning to feel a little awkward, Kenny's body sprung back to life. The offending pretzel dislodged itself and shot out of Kenny's mouth, over three rows of seats and hit a toddler in the head. Toddler wailing at top volume and the mood well and truly broken Cartman turned back to the TV and Kyle set about trying to zip himself up without being too obvious about it.

"So did anything happen while I was out?" Kenny asked.

"Nope" Kyle and Cartman responded in unison, much too quickly.

The flight attendants came around again to collect the cups and other trash from the passengers. Cartman's arm brushed against him as he pushed all his rubbish onto Kyle's fold out table. Kyle couldn't help but feel that rather than easing any tension between them, what they had just done would make it ten times worse.

Cartman met his eyes and Kyle's stomach fluttered.

Yep definitely worse.


End file.
